A hard day.

It was hard day yesterday. First we went to the burial of Naomi's ashes. Her grave is quite near to my mothers, to charlie and to various cousins. It was difficult enough but Samia's distress was harrowing. however we got through it somehow and then we went to a pub for lunch.During the meal it was hard to look at Val who wouldn't eat anything and looked so ill and frail. I don't know how he is going to get through all this.Lisa came to the pub. Everyone is worried about her. she is not in a good place mentally. She has lost so much weight that she is hardly recognisable.
After the meal we went to see Pat. She is going down fast now.I have been determined not to cry but as I was leaving I had the thought that I might not see her again. I am racked with pain at the thought of her dying when I am not there but what can I do? She hugged me and told me she loved me. I hope she will not suffer too much.
It's difficult to write this but I thought it would help me to say it to someone other then my sisters who are all just as heartbroken as I am.
sheila xx